||[Sep. 4th, 2006|11:10 pm]
i haven't updated in a while. but i don't think it matters. there are only two or three people at most who actually still read my livejournal, and i feel like they're drifting away. i used to love this thing. recently i've found it pointless and disjointed from my life, only used as a place to record anecdotal stories of my life that aren't rated x in some way. i do enjoy those stories and do still want to record them, but i also want the embarrasing x ones there too, and i want them to be for an audience that i don't feel like i have to censor myself around for the sake of friendly decorum. i also don't want my mom to read all that shit, and i know she looks at this every now and then. i'm not discontinuing this journal, in fact i'm not really changing much of anything. i'm just saying it's become less usefull then it was, and things are probably naturally different because of that.|
i want to spill my guts, but i can't. i don't want everyone knowing how pathetic i am at the moment. i'm getting a psychologist, but the appointment can't come soon enough. everything seems pointless and unmotivational. life is going wrong. i'll probably cheer up in an hour.